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Halloween: nothing is scarier than a noindex left in production. Free shipping from €59 Printed to order in Barjac, France
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Top 50 SEO gifts

The products that make the most SEOs laugh, ranked like a giant marketplace's best sellers. Funnier, and with no disguised ads.

Until the first sales, this is an editorial ranking: our favourites. As soon as orders come in, real sales take over.

#1 Position 0: the answer to "what to get an SEO"

Disallow: /mondays

Disallow: /mondays

from€33.90

robots.txt is the small file that tells search engine bots which parts of a site are off-limits. This one is for real life: Mondays, meetings and video calls are blocked, happy hour is wide open, and a two-coffee delay is required between visits. Small catch: Google ignores the Crawl-delay rule. So does your manager.

Jargon level 2/5: Accessible Accessible

See number one
#3
FAQ: it depends – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

FAQ: it depends

€33.90 Jargon level 2/5: Accessible
#4
loading="lazy" – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

loading="lazy"

from€33.90 Jargon level 5/5: Hardcore
#6
Hide a body: page 2 – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

Hide a body: page 2

€33.90 Jargon level 4/5: Deep insider
#8
Crawled, not indexed – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

Crawled, not indexed

€33.90 Jargon level 4/5: Deep insider
#9
Results: 3 to 6 months – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

Results: 3 to 6 months

€33.90 Jargon level 5/5: Hardcore
#11
Just a little tweak – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

Just a little tweak

from€33.90 Jargon level 2/5: Accessible
#12
Make the logo bigger – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

Make the logo bigger

€33.90 Jargon level 4/5: Deep insider
#13
Friday, 5:58 pm – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

Friday, 5:58 pm

from€33.90 Jargon level 4/5: Deep insider
#14
Blocked by robots.txt – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

Blocked by robots.txt

from€33.90 Jargon level 5/5: Hardcore
#15
147 tabs – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

147 tabs

from€33.90 Jargon level 2/5: Accessible
#16
It doesn't work for me – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

It doesn't work for me

from€33.90 Jargon level 2/5: Accessible
#17
Opens Nov 1It’s the intent that counts – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

It’s the intent that counts

from€33.90 Jargon level 2/5: Accessible
#19
Opens Nov 1SEO is dead (says my uncle) – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

SEO is dead (says my uncle)

€33.90 Jargon level 2/5: Accessible
#22
Not orderable yetSEO obituary – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

SEO obituary

from€33.90 Jargon level 3/5: Insider
#23
Not orderable yetThe over-optimized t-shirt – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

The over-optimized t-shirt

€33.90 Jargon level 3/5: Insider
#24
Not orderable yetCrawl budget 2% – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

Crawl budget 2%

€33.90 Jargon level 4/5: Deep insider
#25
Not orderable yetalt="The SEO who warned you" – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

alt="The SEO who warned you"

from€33.90 Jargon level 4/5: Deep insider
#26
Not orderable yetA night's breadcrumb trail – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

A night's breadcrumb trail

from€33.90 Jargon level 3/5: Insider
#27
Not orderable yet302 – Be right back – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

302 – Be right back

€33.90 Jargon level 4/5: Deep insider
#28
Not orderable yetHeading hierarchy – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

Heading hierarchy

€33.90 Jargon level 4/5: Deep insider
#29
Not orderable yetI'm the original – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

I'm the original

€33.90 Jargon level 4/5: Deep insider
#30
Not orderable yethreflang en-yall – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

hreflang en-yall

€33.90 Jargon level 4/5: Deep insider
#31
Not orderable yetSEO is a long game – Adult apparel
seoaddict.co › Adult apparel

SEO is a long game

from€37.90 Jargon level 3/5: Insider
#32
Not orderable yetMy JSON-LD – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

My JSON-LD

€33.90 Jargon level 4/5: Deep insider
#33
Not orderable yetTODO: optimize the SEO – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

TODO: optimize the SEO

from€33.90 Jargon level 5/5: Hardcore
#34
Not orderable yetLong-tail query – Adult apparel
seoaddict.co › Adult apparel

Long-tail query

€37.90 Jargon level 3/5: Insider
#35
Not orderable yetmotivation.js, deferred – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

motivation.js, deferred

€33.90 Jargon level 5/5: Hardcore
#36
Not orderable yetV for valid – Adult apparel
seoaddict.co › Adult apparel

V for valid

from€32.90 Jargon level 3/5: Insider
#37
Not orderable yetFriday sitemap – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

Friday sitemap

€33.90 Jargon level 4/5: Deep insider
#38
Not orderable yetrel="nofollow" for my ex – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

rel="nofollow" for my ex

€33.90 Jargon level 5/5: Hardcore
#39
Not orderable yet<title>Home</title> – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

<title>Home</title>

€33.90 Jargon level 5/5: Hardcore
#40
Not orderable yetVital signs: excellent – Adult apparel
seoaddict.co › Adult apparel

Vital signs: excellent

from€32.90 Jargon level 4/5: Deep insider
#41
Not orderable yetgit blame robots.txt – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

git blame robots.txt

€33.90 Jargon level 5/5: Hardcore
#42
Not orderable yetx-robots-tag: noindex – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

x-robots-tag: noindex

€33.90 Jargon level 5/5: Hardcore
#43
Not orderable yet418 – I'm a teapot – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

418 – I'm a teapot

€33.90 Jargon level 4/5: Deep insider
#44
Not orderable yetTruncated at 155 characters – Adult apparel
seoaddict.co › Adult apparel

Truncated at 155 characters

€34.90 Jargon level 3/5: Insider
#45
Not orderable yet410 Gone – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

410 Gone

€33.90 Jargon level 4/5: Deep insider
#46
Not orderable yet503 – On vacation – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

503 – On vacation

€33.90 Jargon level 4/5: Deep insider
#47
Not orderable yetCtrl + F5 – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

Ctrl + F5

€33.90 Jargon level 4/5: Deep insider
#48
Not orderable yetdress.txt – Adult apparel
seoaddict.co › Adult apparel

dress.txt

from€44.90 Jargon level 4/5: Deep insider
#49
Not orderable yetIt's DNS propagation – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

It's DNS propagation

€33.90 Jargon level 4/5: Deep insider
#50
Not orderable yetutm_source=fridge – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

utm_source=fridge

from€33.90 Jargon level 5/5: Hardcore

Pareto applies to clothing too: a handful of products make most of the sales. Until the first orders come in, this ranking is editorial (our favourites, and we own it). As soon as sales arrive, they take over: nobody pays to be in this Top.

Personalisation · 30 seconds

Shall we get acquainted?

Your answers stay in this browser. We do not store them or turn them into a marketing persona.

Wishlist

Your page, with your name on it

No account, no email. This browser keeps the key to edit the page. The page is not indexed: only people with the link can see it.

Group gift

Gift it together

  1. You open the pot: it gets its own page, with the look and the target amount.
  2. Everyone chips in online (card or PayPal) and leaves a note. Everyone sees who gave what and what is missing.
  3. With each contribution, you get an email with the pot's code. Its value follows the total collected: use it to order the look.

Which size for the sized pieces?

Not sure: the size guide

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