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Halloween: nothing is scarier than a noindex left in production. Free shipping from €59 Printed to order in Barjac, France
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Top 20 SEO gifts

The products that make the most SEOs laugh, ranked like a giant marketplace's best sellers. Funnier, and with no disguised ads.

Until the first sales, this is an editorial ranking: our favourites. As soon as orders come in, real sales take over.

#1 Position 0: the answer to "what to get an SEO"

Disallow: /mondays

Disallow: /mondays

from€33.90

robots.txt is the small file that tells search engine bots which parts of a site are off-limits. This one is for real life: Mondays, meetings and video calls are blocked, happy hour is wide open, and a two-coffee delay is required between visits. Small catch: Google ignores the Crawl-delay rule. So does your manager.

Jargon level 2/5: Accessible Accessible

See number one
#3
FAQ: it depends – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

FAQ: it depends

€33.90 Jargon level 2/5: Accessible
#4
loading="lazy" – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

loading="lazy"

from€33.90 Jargon level 5/5: Hardcore
#6
Hide a body: page 2 – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

Hide a body: page 2

€33.90 Jargon level 4/5: Deep insider
#8
Crawled, not indexed – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

Crawled, not indexed

€33.90 Jargon level 4/5: Deep insider
#9
Results: 3 to 6 months – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

Results: 3 to 6 months

€33.90 Jargon level 5/5: Hardcore
#11
Just a little tweak – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

Just a little tweak

from€33.90 Jargon level 2/5: Accessible
#12
Make the logo bigger – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

Make the logo bigger

€33.90 Jargon level 4/5: Deep insider
#13
Friday, 5:58 pm – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

Friday, 5:58 pm

from€33.90 Jargon level 4/5: Deep insider
#14
Blocked by robots.txt – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

Blocked by robots.txt

from€33.90 Jargon level 5/5: Hardcore
#15
147 tabs – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

147 tabs

from€33.90 Jargon level 2/5: Accessible
#16
It doesn't work for me – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

It doesn't work for me

from€33.90 Jargon level 2/5: Accessible
#17
Opens Nov 1It’s the intent that counts – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

It’s the intent that counts

from€33.90 Jargon level 2/5: Accessible
#19
Opens Nov 1SEO is dead (says my uncle) – T-shirts
seoaddict.co › T-shirts

SEO is dead (says my uncle)

€33.90 Jargon level 2/5: Accessible

Pareto applies to clothing too: a handful of products make most of the sales. Until the first orders come in, this ranking is editorial (our favourites, and we own it). As soon as sales arrive, they take over: nobody pays to be in this Top.

Personalisation · 30 seconds

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Wishlist

Your page, with your name on it

No account, no email. This browser keeps the key to edit the page. The page is not indexed: only people with the link can see it.

Group gift

Gift it together

  1. You open the pot: it gets its own page, with the look and the target amount.
  2. Everyone chips in online (card or PayPal) and leaves a note. Everyone sees who gave what and what is missing.
  3. With each contribution, you get an email with the pot's code. Its value follows the total collected: use it to order the look.

Which size for the sized pieces?

Not sure: the size guide

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